Not Alone
by Stefan-sama
Summary: Tifa, worried, attempts to console Cloud, who spends his nights haunted by the deaths of Zack and Aerith, tortured by his weakness and failure to save them.


**I'll be honest (and probably stoned) here: I don't like Advent Children. It's gorgeous and all, but my issue with it is that it doesn't explore Cloud's character fully enough for its supposed weight to the plot. We get that he's depressed and suffering from Geostigma, but there's not nearly enough for what's a really substantial character point: his guilt for the deaths of Zack and Aerith and his inability to prevent them. We get hints, but there's not nearly enough exploring it, and apparently killing Sephiroth again is supposed to solve that. So, this is my take on the thread; take this as if it's replacing the movie. It's not nearly good enough to measure up to what the character requires thanks to my nonexistent writing skills- I really think I did a terrible job with the dialogue at the end. I'm not the best at expressing emotions. Ask any of the girls at my school. It's a start, at least. Plus, it did give me an opportunity to practice a fight scene in writing, which I've never done before. Also, I had the best image to serve as a cover, but I decided against it because it was a fanart whose artist I had no connection with, and thus no way to ask permission for. Yay, I guess...? Anyway, I've done enough rambling. Enjoy my first new piece.**

**Not Alone**

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the thin blade coming in out of the darkness for another strike on his right; Cloud shifted his weight and managed to block the powerful slash, but was driven back and left completely open on his other side. He brought up his own sword to meet his opponent, but the moment he reacted, the blade danced behind, whipping from a downward slash into nothing. Cloud screamed in pain as he was impaled from behind, coughing blood where he crawled for air, his weapon sent spinning out of his reach with a metal screech.

Even as he cried out again as the blade was retracted from his stomach, he could feel a dank, icy breath on his neck. "Do you feel that, Cloud?" it asked. The whisper rang through his mind, overwhelming him so that he could think of nothing else. "Do you feel this pain? The same pain that you gave her?" Cloud screamed in protest, leaping for his blade and spinning around, but his slash met thin air. The voice whispered into his ear from behind again. "You cannot kill me, Cloud. You're too weak. You've always been too weak. So very weak… So weak that you killed her."

"Shut up!" He grit his teeth and whirled back, chasing his tormentor with a flurry of attacks that were parried with ease; no matter how quickly he turned, each slash was pushed back fruitlessly in a cacophony of clashes that rent the air asunder. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" As he was deflected again, he twisted into a mighty lunge that was similarly rejected, and he received a fresh wound that cut his chest wide open as he. The rocky ground caved into a staircase that he rolled down erratically before being stopped by a boot on his chest.

"Where were you, Cloud? How could you do this to him?" Cloud's eyes widened in pain as he flashed back to his closest friend's body flying across the Reactor, landing in a crumpled heap. "For all his kindness, you repay him by failing him as he needed you most?" Shaking his head wildly, he bit his lip to dissipate the image and got to his feet for another charge, but fell back howling as his body burst into flames. "This fire… Just the same," the voice rang out again. "How could you let the woman who raised you die like this? Why weren't you strong enough to stop her being roasted alive with everyone else in your birth town?"

Another charge; Cloud's blade was stopped mid-swing by the handle, and he felt himself being lifted up, only to be cast aside with another slash from his own sword. "The girl, too! Hadn't you promised to save her whenever she was in trouble? How can you, if you're so weak that you can't even grip your sword?!" The voice was shadowed by tinges of his own, its taunting far more painful than his deep gashes covering his body.

"Sephiroth!" he screamed in agony, struggling against the ground and his own helplessness. Sephiroth's hollow laugh pierced the darkness, echoing endlessly as he slaughtered every person that Cloud had ever cared about. Cloud saw their bodies materialize from the dark, then cry out as they were mercilessly murdered. Another body would step out over the corpse of its double, only to be killed just as quickly.

Cloud pushed desperately, but his legs refused to stand, and he crumpled down again. He could only reach out as his friends died again before his eyes, and again, and again. A thousand gunshots rang out and Zack gave him a weak thumbs-up as he fell. Tifa cried out as she was stabbed, her screams driving Cloud down even further. Aerith's laugh was stopped cold, her peaceful face frozen as she was run through.

"Sephiroth!" he pleaded, choking through his tears. "Please! Stop! Stop killing them! Stop killing my friends!"

The silver-haired SOLDIER turned to Cloud as he withdrew his blade from Aerith's body. His cruel smile was flecked with the blood of Cloud's friends. "Oh?" he whispered, stepping toward Cloud's body. Sephiroth knelt down and tilted up Cloud's chin so that he could see directly into Sephiroth's soulless eyes.

"I didn't kill them. You did."

Cloud screamed as he bolted upright, sweating up a monsoon and looking about wildly. Someone was gripping his hand tightly; he looked up to meet Tifa's worried face. "Cloud, you're up! Oh, I've been so worried, you had another fit and I couldn't do anything to help… What were you dreaming about?"

He took another look around; he was safe, in bed, in the room above the bar he shared with Tifa. The moon shone overhead through the window, bathing the dark room in a soft, warm glow. He realized he'd been dreaming again. Another one of his episodes. He shook his head and wiped his brow. "…Sorry," he managed, still breathing hard. "I did it again… I must have woken you up…"

He was slapped across the cheek. "Stop that! Can't you worry about yourself for once?" Tifa asked, moving so that Cloud could prop himself back up. "You've been crying and screaming in your sleep for the last hour! I tried waking you up, but you wouldn't budge. I was so worried that I was panicking; all I could do was sit here and pray that you were all right."

"I'm fine… Sorry."

Tifa slapped him again. "I said stop that!" She moved once more, now to sit beside him and hold his hand again. Her firm grip anchored him to reality, letting him calm down. "…Tell me about it."

Cloud turned away, ashamed of the weakness he was showing. Sephiroth's taunting echoed again. "I can't," he said. "It's not- I can't."

Tifa squeezed a bit harder. "You can."

He opened his mouth to repeat himself, then realized that he was crying. He turned back to her, lowering his gaze when he met the deep sincerity in her chocolate eyes. Attempting to vent his frustration, he wiped furiously at his eyes and gripped the sheets. Tifa squeezed on his other hand just as hard. "Cloud…" she whispered softly. "Please, let me in…You always do this, but you never let me help you. Every night, I have to wait for you to calm down, powerless to do anything by myself, having to listen to you cry out in pain. I can't bear it any longer. Just this once, let me carry your load with you…"

Cloud shivered for a moment, then dropped his shoulders and began sobbing freely. "I'm… I'm powerless too. I'm weak, I'm so weak. I can't do anything, I couldn't save them, I let them down, I let you down, I killed them because I'm such a failure. I let them die."

"You can't say that…" Tifa said quietly.

"I sat there and watched Zack confront an entire army. He died fighting because I didn't have the strength to just get up." Cloud buried his head in his hands. "I didn't have the strength to fight off Sephiroth's control, either. If I had, I could've protected her from Jenova. But I didn't. I- I could've just reached out and they'd still be here… But I didn't." Tifa reached a tentative hand to his face; he made no indication of notice. "I failed them."

Tifa bit her lip. "That wasn't your fault in either case. You were completely poisoned with mako, and Sephiroth-"

"_I know what they did!_" Cloud interrupted angrily, slamming his fist to the bed. "And I know what I didn't! I didn't do anything! Zack fought his way across the continent while having to lug me around like a useless sack of flour! Every mission we took, he had to stop and wait for me to catch up! I was weighing him down, and he did everything for me, and I couldn't give him anything in return, not even his life!"

A tense silence hung in the air, permeated only by Cloud's rough, haggard breathing. Tifa slowly put her hand on his again. He quickly withdrew it. She took it regardless. "Cloud, I know you're hurting from all this guilt, that you might have been able to save them… I might not have known Zack as well, but I wish that he and Aerith were still here just as badly as you."

She paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "But… What's done is done, right? We're here today because of them, because of their sacrifices, but we can't bring them back, even though we owe them so much. But you can't repay them by dwelling on what you could have done in the past… You need to move forward, Cloud."

"I know I do… But I can't," he said, shaking his head in disgust. "How can I when I couldn't- when I can't protect the people I love?"

"You've got it wrong. You didn't fail to protect them; they were the ones who protected you. Us." He stared up at Tifa blankly.

"You're not alone, Cloud. You're not the only one who can protect people. You don't have to be responsible for everything by yourself. No one could handle that. That's why we have friends. You care for us, and we care for you, too. Everyone takes care of everyone, because we're family."

"…Family," he repeated. His gaze drifted to the wall that separated their bedroom from Denzel and Marlene's. He could make out their soft, peaceful snores.

Tifa smiled. "Yep. We've got one, if you haven't noticed. Zack and Aerith protected us. We can't thank them enough for it, but we can start to repay their gift. Let's protect the kids, and all of our friends, together."

Cloud paused. He let go of Tifa's hand, only to take it again, with firm conviction. "I'm not alone," he said simply.

Tifa smiled again. "There's my knight in shining armor."

They lay back down together. Cloud covered Tifa with his arm; she slept closely against his chest. It was a peaceful sleep.


End file.
